Mother and a true gift on Mother's day. Breaking the patriarchal kitchen story!

What does Mother’s Day mean? Just gratitude for the sacrificial and all-giving self that a mother has been? It is hypocritical, the whole façade of Mother’s Day celebrations. Once practiced in the pre-modern world, the traditional family roles are still being pushed into today’s daily life. The role of a mother as a life-bringing, nurturer has always been celebrated. But people have always shied away from the conversations on the struggles of being a mother. It’s indeed a divine gift to bring life into this world. The cost of that has been giving up on dreams, sometimes career, and being chained down to household responsibilities.

With the changing era, gender roles have evolved and developed over time. There was a time when the house woman took on household duties while the man labored to provide for his household. The situations and scenarios have changed ever since. Now, all genders make themselves capable through education to provide for themselves and their households. This transition took a long time yet we made it into that time. The modern haves and wants demand that both partners work to run the household smoothly. It is wonderful to see this step in progress and embrace it. But the sad apathy on the other side is that the household responsibilities more often than not are shouldered by the woman, to be more precise the mother.

In most households, a working mom is always working! She fulfills her duties at her workplace, comes home to her partner and children, and takes care of all of the household responsibilities. As a traditional role of a woman/mother, she is still bound by kitchen duties. It is like an unsaid rule, the mother is in charge of the cooking. The statements such as “maa ke hath ke khanne me jaadu he” or “I only eat what my mom cooks” might sound like statements of praise, but are they? We as a society have been taking steps towards progress, yet not when it comes to such basic and important aspects of our daily living. The struggles and sacrifices of a mom are always seen as a symbol of a good mother. These struggles are lauded and labeled as the responsibilities of a mother. It is simple; cooking is a life skill, not a gender role. Partners must share responsibility at home like they do to provide for the family. A child only learns what he sees if the child is used to the mother cooking, cleaning, and working. The next generation will see no change. The in-grained ideal mother roles have to transform.

While we appreciate our moms for all that they have been, celebrate this mother’s day a little differently. Cooking on mother’s day might seem like progress but it just proves the patriarchal role of a mother. The change has to start somewhere. Start this change at home. If you have a wife, partner, mother, or sister that is always pushed into the threshold of cooking responsibility, step up and share it with her. Let this mother’s day mean mother’s day!

A very happy mother’s day from IGT Family to all mother’s out there. We hope for change!

Also, check out the blog Women and Cultural Stereotypes in the Kitchen